Every Single Night

The wait is officially over. After 7 long years without producing new angst-filled material, Fiona Apple finally released the first single off her forthcoming album, The Idler Wheel (full title: The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do). If “Every Single Night” is any indication of the musical goods Fiona has crafted for her highly anticipated album, then fans will not be disappointed--Fiona is back stronger and more tortured than ever. In typical tormented fashion, Fiona sings about an endless and agonizing battle with (surprise) herself. Her expressive voice starts off serene and soothing but quickly reveals the pain, anger and torture she struggles with every night. She can’t shut her brain off—her ideas saturate more than her restless mind. The lyrics vacillate between intensities throughout the duration of the song, from cycles of calming, whispered utterances to sullen and frenzied orders and observations (“If what I am is what I am, cause what I does is what I does, then brother get back cause my breast’s gonna bust open”). Fiona’s unrestrained words serve to reinforce the interchangeable layers of her erratic thoughts during the unrelenting internal battle. Her ceaseless questioning and ruminations aim to drive her mad and keep her up. “Every single night’s a fight with my brain,” she bellows in the second verse. And we understand her conflict and predicament. We’ve all waged war at one point or another with our own ideas, fears and insecurities during the darkest hours in bed when peace and solace elude us. But in the last verse, a part of Fiona’s tortured psyche realizes she must renounce the battle: "So I'm gonna try to be still now, Gonna renounce the mill a little while." She needs to relax and the refrain “I just want to be everything” shows her vulnerability, as well as a simple desire to be free of confinement and a part of something more than the battle. The arrangement of the song is as sprightly as it is multi-layered. From the opening lullaby-like notes, to the percussion driven chorus, nothing about this song is simple or neatly arranged. The Idler Wheel will be released on June 19 through Epic, and I think I speak for everyone when I say, "It’s about damn time."

Pedro Infante: El Idolo de la Gente

Jose Pedro Infante Cruz, better known as Pedro Infante, is undoubtedly one of the best singers and actors Mexico has ever produced. He died in a tragic plane crash in Mérida, Yucatan 55 years ago on the 15^th of April but remains the “idol of the people” to Mexicanos and Latin Americans as well. A national day of mourning was declared in Mexico when news of his death reached the radio stations. Not surprisingly, all the radio and television stations of Mexico gave programs in homage to their idolo, playing Infante's songs all day long. When his coffin arrived in Mexico City, a multitude of mourners descended on the airport. Mexicanos paid their respects to Pedro at the National Association of Actors and Composers in the Jorge Negrete Theater where his body was placed. Mariachis bid farewell with "Amorcito Corazon," the bolero he immortalized.

I never met Pedro, nor did I grow up during the Golden Age of Mexican cinema. He was one of the leading men of this golden era along with Jorge Negrete. However, I grew up watching old Pedro Infante films like, “¡¿Qué Te Ha Dado Esa Mujer?!" There was little else to view on a Sunday afternoon after all the cartoons were over. Besides, my uncles were territorial when it came to the TV. As a child of 6, Pedro was the most beautiful man I had ever set eyes upon. Charismatic and comical on-screen (and off screen), he commanded your undivided attention and unswerving devotion. You could not help but follow his every bold move and hold on to his every sharp word. But Pedro's majestic voice was the icing on the cake. His elegant and cavernous voice possessed the power to quiet every voice in a room. It channeled such raw emotions and transmitted them to you in a way you could not comprehend but only feel. I know my need for music and the importance of music in my life sprung from those moments when I would sit in front of the television in a semi-comatose state, listening intently to Pedro’s powerful voice and songs. He took me away, if only for a moment, from the constant misery and sadness of my childhood. 

Pedro sang waltzes, cha-cha-chas, rancheras and boleros. In fact, he is among the most popular singers of mariachi and ranchera music. He is recognized, along with Javier Solis and Jorge Negrete, as one of the Tres Gallos Mexicanos (Three Mexican Roosters). His film career began in 1939 and he appeared in more than 60 films until his untimely death. Starting in 1943, he recorded about 350 songs. His natural talent for acting resulted in a Silver Bear for Best Actor award at the 7^th Berlin International Film Festival in 1957 for the film "Tizoc."

Every year, Pedro Infante attracts a large number of fans of all ages to his shrine in the Panteón Jardín of Mexico City. His fans honor him with a mass, honor guards, music and the songs he made famous. There are four statues erected in his honor: one in Mexico City made out of thousands of bronze keys, the second in Mérida, a third in his birthplace of Mazatlán, Sinaloa, and the fourth statue is in the town square of Guamúchil, his adopted home town. 

Pedro’s enduring legacy is a result of the urban hero status he earned from the working class. Sure he excelled at playing the fun-loving charro in many of his films, but it was his “common man” character that won him the love and admiration of the public in Mexico and other countries, such as Venezuela and Guatemala. Pedro worked as a carpenter in Guamúchil from a young age before his musical talents led him to pursue his dreams in Mexico City. He became a huge star, but he always represented the common poor carpenter to his fans. The public could relate to Pedro because he came from humble origins, yet he worked himself up from nothing to become one of greatest figures in Mexican history. He is an “orgullo Mexicano” and to this day, singers of the ranchera and mariachi genres pay him countless tributes. Pedro is immortal and time will never erase his musical magic or influence. 

5 Steps for Surviving a Breakup

Breakups are a pain. Literally. Research published in the “Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and the United States” confirms what most dumpees have always known: getting dumped feels like physical pain. The authors of the study assembled people who had been dumped six months before and placed them in a brain scanner. High heat was applied to the subject’s forearms and later they were instructed to look at a photo of the person who dumped them. The scans demonstrated that emotional pain activates the same area of the brain that processes physical pain. Apparently the brain can’t differentiate between the two.

So yes. Love hurts. And all dumpees have the right to heal their broken hearts. But how much time does it take to recover from a breakup? It can take anywhere from six to 18 months to mend a broken heart, according to Rachel Sussman of “The Breakup Bible.” I’m approaching month number two of my recovery, so the thought of dealing with heartache for another four to 16 months feels daunting and distressing. But this too shall pass. And until we’re fully over our exes (18 months? really??), there are at least five steps we can take to help ease the process of a rough breakup. 

1) Avoid your ex, which really means, “Cut off all contact, dammit!”—Look, in the beginning it’s hard to let go because you’re still in love and desperately clinging to the memories. But how can you move on and start healing if you’re texting, emailing or “Facebooking” your ex? A clean and total break is the most essential part of getting over someone. This isn't negotiable, heartbroken people. Trust me. I stopped emailing my ex several weeks ago and recently unfriended him on Facebook. Maintaining occasional contact with him was not helping me confront the daily reality of being without him. Plus, it stung to see how much he’s enjoying himself in a new country and meeting all types of interesting people (including beautiful women). What sane dumpee wants to see that after a breakup? You might think I'm resentful, which is the furthest thing from the truth. I'm just abnormally plagued with an immense amount of pride, dignity and self-respect. We all possess these traits (in normal doses). So use any means necessary for closure. If that means erasing her phone number, unfriending your ex from Facebook, and deleting his email address from your contact list, then so be it. You have to do whatever it takes to move on, including dismissing your ex from your life.      

2) Wallow in self-pity—This doesn’t necessarily mean you should throw a pity party for yourself every single day for the entire breakup period (18 months??). But you do have to mourn. There is no shame in being devastated over a breakup. After all, you love(d) this person, right? And you miss this person, yes? So accept these truths and mourn! Don’t put off the lengthy grieving process, which will surely backfire on you. Take a couple of weeks to cry, reflect and work through those painful emotions. Analyze the positives and negatives of your most recent relationship while listening to some pitiful music. There are happy memories to consider along with the realization that you’re growing and learning something valuable from this breakup, which you will carry into the next relationship. Then, after you’ve suffered enough, find motivation and get back into the thick of life. How?

3) Exercise!—We’ve all heard of endorphins. Well, exercise is an excellent way to improve your mood and get in shape. In fact, many studies indicate that people who exercise regularly benefit with a positive boost in mood and lower rates of depression. How does this happen? When you exercise, your body decreases stress hormones, such as cortisol, and releases natural, feel good chemicals called endorphins. Exercise also releases adrenaline, serotonin, and dopamine (Depression is related to low levels of certain neurotransmitters like serotonin and norepinephrine.) These chemicals work together to make you feel good. Endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain, both physical and mental (I bet those people in the study I referenced earlier weren’t exercising). Not only do endorphins act as analgesics, but they also work like sedatives. The neuron receptors endorphins bind to are the same ones that bind some pain medicines. So sign up for yoga classes. Take long, scenic walks along a lake or river. Run! I’m a runner and running has been a blessing these past two months. Running is physically demanding, but the feeling I experience immediately after a grueling run (the so-called “runner’s high”) always gives me a more positive and energizing outlook on life. Not only have I lost weight (which means I’m bikini ready!), but I’m also being proactive by managing the stress of losing someone who meant a great deal to me.   

4) Pamper yourself!—Watch TV marathons (I’m partial to All in the Family, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Three’s Company reruns), get mani-pedis, buy new clothes or underwear (the cheap kind!), get a facial or massage, sign up for dance classes (I’m getting back to my Flamenco roots!), try a new haircut (bangs?) or take a mini vacation. The point is to put yourself first once again and take care of your needs (it’s easy to put yourself second when you’re in a relationship). Do what makes you feel good. Enlist your friends for these pampering sessions if you don’t want to go solo. Before you know it, those six to 18 months will have passed and you’ll be a pro at the Flamenco (or Tango)!   

5) Wait before dating again—This is about as hard as breaking off all contact with your ex but just as necessary. It’s tempting to get back out there again after a breakup. You may want to distract yourself from the heartache by dating. Or your friends and acquaintances may pressure you to pursue new romantic interests. But don’t! You have to wait until YOU are completely ready to face the dating world once again. I learned this lesson the hard way several years ago after a difficult breakup. Barely a month had transpired before I was dating again. I wasn’t over my ex, but I hated feeling so lonely and miserable, so I jumped into a new “relationship.” Big mistake. After the initial excitement of a fresh body, I only ended up feeling more upset and conflicted. Rebounds rarely go anywhere but down (unless you get pregnant!). Besides, it's essential to be alone after a breakup in order to gain a fresh perspective and clear vision for the future. Being alone is not the same thing as isolating yourself from your friends and family. For you need moral support to get through a breakup. But you should embrace your new status as a singleton and be free of romantic entanglements. Remember: this is an important phase of self-rediscovery and independence, a time to reassess or redefine the meaning of happiness and fulfillment. As Sussman says, “You need to be happy again first and then you can find a new, healthy relationship.”

Duly noted. I’ll be running, writing, reading, dancing, working and socializing until I’m completely over my ex (18 months?) and feeling like my old self again. Then, I’ll re-enter the dating world with a renewed and sanguine outlook (I mean, those OkCupid and Chemistry inboxes are getting out of control).


If you're going through a breakup, what are some steps you're taking to cope with the process? Please share in the comment section!